The Suzumiya Phenomena
by Puddle Boots
Summary: Skulduggery is assigned to work on a case in Japan, involving an infamous, reality-twisting girl named Haruhi Suzumiya. Faceless Ones clash with rampaging Shinjin and Fletcher and Taniguchi get on like a house on fire.
1. Chapter 1

The rain spattered against the window pane, sounding like fingers tapping the glass. Valkyrie checked that no one was going to walk in on her then opened her wardrobe door and let the Reflection out of the mirror.

"Can you just hide under the bed until I leave?" she asked it, "Skulduggery said to wait here for Fletcher." The Reflection nodded, hunkering down to hide.

"Good."

Valkyrie picked up her Necromancer ring from the bedside table ans slipped it on. Her phone began to ring and, even before she reached for it, Fletcher Renn appeared out of thin air behind her.

"I wish you wouldn't do that," she said without turning around. "It's bad for the phone."

"Sorry." He looked ashamed, But reluctantly, Valkyrie turned to face him. Fletcher's ridiculous hair was looking rather sad; the rain must've given it a challenge. Valkyrie smiled and held out her arm. In a heartbeat they appeared before an unmarked shopfront in the pouring rain. Letting go of Fletcher, Valkyrie strode toward the big black car waiting across the street.

Skulduggery Pleasant rolled down the window and stuck out his skull.

"Ah, there you are." The detective straightened his hat, "there has been a change of plans." Valkyrie raised her eyebrows, but she let Fletcher ask.

"What sort of change?"

"An international change."

Valkyrie opened the side door and waited for Fletcher to get in.

"I'm the man here," he complained. "Aren't I supposed to do the door-holding?"

"Get in," she said, grumpily. Fletcher obliged and sat beside her, running a hand through his soaking hair to make it stick out straight again. Valkyrie tried hard not to laugh at him. Skulduggery's phone rang and he pushed his hat aside to answer it. A familiar voice became audible, even in the back seat.

"Hello?" Ghastly sounded put out, even over the crackly connection.

"What is it?" Skulduggery responded.

"Is it true? China's just told me they're sending you out of the country."

"You're at the library?"

"Had to find a book."

"It would seem the place for that."

"Can't the Japanese Sanctuary take care of itself for once?"

"You've dealt with them before?" Skulduggery sounded amused.

"Well, no, but I've heard the stories."

"Haven't we all?"

"There's a reason they're always in trouble."

"I know." Skulduggery hesitated. "You want to come, don't you?"

"Yes."

"Very well, I'll come and get you." Skulduggery hung up and shrugged his skeletal shoulders.

"What was all that about?" Fletcher asked, dumbfounded. Skulduggery buckled his seat belt and turned the key in the ignition before turning to face them.

"Have you ever heard of the Suzumiya Phenomenon?" Both Fletcher and Valkyrie shook their heads.

"Three years ago, the Japanese Sanctuary caught wind of a strange happening in central Japan. A girl, Haruhi Suzumiya was the main catalyst. It seems she is unconsciously developing a completely new branch of Adept magic, similar to the spell used to protect the Book Of Names."

"So it has to do with willpower?" Valkyrie broke in.

"It does indeed. Until now, the Japanese Sanctuary has only assigned people to discover more about her and her powers. Lately, however, she has become nothing short of dangerous."

"Dangerous in what way?" Fletcher asked, a bit nervously.

"To put it simply, she has the power to destroy the world."

"Is that all?" The teleporter was incredulous.

"No, It's not." Skulduggery stopped at a red light and turned in his seat. "It seems some unknown party has been working to keep her under control but every time she is bored, annoyed, angry or otherwise displeased, she unconsciously opens a portal between realities."

"Ah," Valkyrie said. "It wouldn't happen to be a certain uh, familiar reality, would it?"

"No." Skulduggery responded. "Though it's similar."

"Oh, joy." Valkyrie grumbled" Just don't get trapped inside this time, alright?"

"How are we getting to Japan?" Fletcher asked, changing the subject.

"Well, I was kind of hoping that you'd been there at some point."

"Nope, sorry."

"Well, that certainly puts a damper on things." Skulduggery pulled up in front of a familiar tenement building and parked the car.

"Out." he said, and tapped his collar bones, sending the façade up over his skull.


	2. Chapter 2

Ghastly was waiting in the library. He closed the book he was reading as they approached.  
>"Are you ready?" Ghastly asked. He stood up and brushed off his exquisite suit.<p>

"We are, although I'm going to have to find some way to get there."

Ghastly raised his eyebrows at his friend. "Fletcher's never been there?" Skulduggery shook his head.

"Well," Fletcher said defensively, "It's not as if I've been _everywhere_ in the world."

"We're going to have to fix that one of these days," Skulduggery muttered as they made their way back to the hallway. A woman blocked their path; a woman with black hair and pale blue eyes. She smiled knowingly at the small group.

"China." Skulduggery inclined his head.

"Skulduggery, what a surprise. I hear the Japanese have finally decided to cut their losses."

"Indeed," Skulduggery replied. "Now if you'll excuse us, Fletcher has a plane to catch."

"What!?" Fletcher looked at him with incredulity.

"Don't worry, you'll go from Australia, save a little time." China laughed and Skulduggery gestured her aside, but she followed them to the door.

"May I assume that you too wish to gatecrash?" Skulduggery inquired. China laughed.

"Oh no, Skulduggery, but make sure you call me if you find something I might be interested in. Those Yurei and Okabe and such are quite... eccentric."

Valkyrie nodded. "I'm sure we will, bye!" She grabbed Fletcher's arm and dragged him from China's presence before he got the chance to declare his love.


	3. Chapter 3

Ghastly accompanied Fletcher to Australia while Skulduggery and Valkyrie set off for Temple Bar. The door was open and loud, incoherent music blasted them as they approached. They ascended the worn wooden stairs and Valkyrie stopped to admire a framed portrait of somebody's tattooed elbow. Skulduggery put up his façade and stuck his head through the open door at the top of the stairs.  
>"Finbar?" he called. The music drowned him out completely. "Finbar!" The music went way down and Finbar Wrong tripped over one of the numerous paper bags littering his studio on his way to answer the door.<br>"Skul-man, is that you? You look dead on your feet." Valkyrie privately thought that was very funny but kept her face smooth as she joined them at the top of the stairs.  
>"So nice of you to mention." Skulduggery mumbled as Finbar greeted Valkyrie.<br>"Val, so nice to see you! I'd invite you in but Sharon's taking a nap and she gets angry when you wake her up." Valkyrie shrugged and Skulduggery moved straight to the point.  
>"Finbar, do you know anything concerning Haruhi Suzumiya?" Finbar scratched his head.<br>"Who?"  
>"The girl, you know, the one who has the power to change the world."<br>"Oh, yeah, thought that was you, Val."  
>"Miss Suzumiya is not a Necromancer Finbar." Skulduggery interrupted, "She doesn't even know what she's doing."<br>"Oh, the Japanese girl?" Finbar seemed to deflate a bit "I've heard of her but she's not like, you know a threat to anybody."  
>"Recently she has been unconsciously opening portals into a warped version of reality, I'd call that a threat."<br>"Portals? well, don't count on me, Skul-man, you know how much I hate being possessed." Valkyrie rolled her eyes and Skulduggery did his best to remain patient.  
>"Have you seen anything, Finbar, any visions or the like to do with Suzumiya."<br>"That depends, does this Haruhi girl run around wearing bunny ears and a leotard?" Valkyrie had to turn away to hide her laugh.  
>"Are you sure you're alright Finbar?" Skulduggery inquired, "Sounds like you may need a little fine tuning."<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

The Bentley sat, soaked and gleaming in Gordon's old garage. Skulduggery removed the key and got out, Valkyrie followed suit and together they raised their arms, lifting the rainwater off the beautiful car and letting it disperse into thin air, leaving the car's black surface clean and dry.

The path to Gordon's house was short but muddy and Valkyrie found it necessary to hop from dry spot to dry spot in order to keep her feet from getting wet.

"I don't see why you bother," Skulduggery said as he floated a few inches above the ravaged ground, "those boots get covered in all sorts of muck and you never mind then."

"Blood and guts I can handle, Skulduggery, but mud? I see you're not too keen to step in it either." Skulduggery looked down at his polished black shoes, hovering a few inches over the mud and shrugged.

"So long as I can avoid it."

"You could at least help _me_ avoid it." Valkyrie complained.

"Ah, but people failing to avoid mud is one of the most amusing things on earth, it's a wonder they don't make it a spectator sport." Valkyrie glowered at him before making a final leap and landing clumsily on Gordon's back stoop. She stuck her tongue out at Skulduggery and retrieved the house key from her trouser pocket.

Gordon's house had thousands of books on every subject imaginable. When he was alive, Gordon had been a bestselling author and a good friend of Skulduggery's. Now that he was dead his house belonged to Valkyrie, even if it wouldn't technically be hers until she turned eighteen.

"Alright," Valkyrie said, starting up the stairs, "I'll search up here and you can have the ground floor."

Skulduggery nodded and took off his coat, hanging it neatly on a hook beside the door.

Valkyrie wasted no time. She entered Gordon's office and pulled on the book that opened the secret room. Her late uncle materialized in front of her, glowing blue in the light of his Echo Stone, which stood in a cradle in the middle of the room.

"Ah, why hello, Valkyrie, and what might you want from me?"

"Gordon, have you ever heard of a girl called Haruhi Suzumiya?"

Gordon frowned. "Not once in my life, and not recently, either. Is that a taken name? It sounds foreign."

"It is foreign, Japanese, to be exact. She's some school girl with the power to destroy the universe."

"Kind of like you, eh?"

"I don't want to think about that, but anyway, I thought you might be able to help. If you've never heard of her, I guess I should be going." Valkyrie turned to walk away.

"You insolent young folk are getting worse and worse," Gordon's voice came from behind her, "You'd think I was just a gossip-dealer like China, but my own niece? That's harsh."

Valkyrie grinned. "Fine, would you like to come with us then? I could bring you in my suitcase."

"No thank you!" Gordon huffed, "What would my fans think if they found out I was riding around in a luggage cart?"

"All your friends think you're dead." Valkyrie told him with her hand on the door.

"Well, technically, they're right." Gordon muttered, but his niece was already gone. She ran down the stairs and grabbed Skulduggery who was perusing one of the many bookcases.

"You were right, it's too recent, he doesn't have anything so let's go, I want to pack."

"You've given up quickly. I told you I'm always right."

Valkyrie glowered at him, but led the way back to the Bentley anyway, being careful not to step in the mud on the way.


End file.
